Worlds & Time

Monday, September 04, 2006

Random Thoughts on English, Body Image, Sluts, and Sex

First, have you noticed that aside from numerous minor spelling mistakes, I use real words and sentences?

I've had a couple of messages on myspace from people recently (probably due to that seem to be trying to hook up. (Just for reference here, I'm talking about things are obvious hook ups, like: "u can hit me up for a g8 time l8r, dude." If we've been talking about KH2, then you fall into the "cute" category, so don't worry about it.)

The odd thing is, most of them can't seem to use basic English. If you're cute, it doesn't matter so much, but if you're not cute and you're talking like a five year old, what am I supposed to think. What am I supposed to think about how the question is phrased?

The answer to the question is usually yes, I want to have sex with you, but I don't even know how to respond to "u wnna hook up sme tme?" Not when you put it like that.

You know what would be cool? I'd really like to interview someone about their sex life. In real English. With me taking notes. If you're interested, let me know and I'll type it up for this blog or something. I'll keep it annonymous if you want. If there's one kink that I have, it's voyerism.

Second, my body image has been going really down recently. I need to work out, but I hate it and it hurts when I do it. But every time I take one step in the right direction I take a step back.

So, basically, I'm a lot heavier than I want to be at the moment, and I'm really hoping that the neurosis will lead to some sort of eating disorder.

Third, remember how I marked off that blog entry a while back with warning labels? Here's another one:

If you're a family member or a co-worker of mine that doesn't want to know about my sex life, you might not want to read further. It's about sex and it's mildly graphic. And when I say mildly, I'm lying.

Bobby's latest blog entry is called "Everyone Loves a Slut" and I couldn't agree more. I love sluts. I recently sent a friend request to Mason Wyler who's an absolutely gorgeous porn star. Oddly, my favorite picture of him on Myspace is this one:



It's so happy and full of personality, and really makes him seem a real person (and I'm sure he must be). Just like how the articles about Fredrik Eklund made him seem more real. I guess I'm just odd like that, but I really like the guys that are happy with who they are (and who wouldn't be happy as a porn star?).

Why do I love sluts? I don't know. A visit from a really good friend recently reminded me that I don't believe in sin, and so I don't believe that random hookups are a bad thing. Except that I guess that I'm terrified of them because I don't seem to interact with people well. Did you read above, about how I want to interview someone about their sex life? I wasn't joking about that. I'm a really strange guy, and I'm worried that unless I appear normal, guys won't like me.

Anyway, so there are guys on Myspace that I'm interested in that I can't even get up the nerve to simply approach, and to the tell you the truth, I can't handle the pressure. I'd like to meet them on my terms, which is tough because my terms are bizzare and disorienting. Like doing interviews, or playing board games.

And I'm not just saying that. I like interviews and board games, and I'd be perfectly happy playing in a no pressure situation where I'm in control.

How strange is that.

Last point: I'm really bad at bottoming. I really wish I was better, but I guess when you skip out on the learning phase, you're screwed, in a literal and figurative way.

It's painful and uncomfortable, and I'm sure that it's not supposed to be, but I don't really know. It's wasn't as bad as the first time, but it's not something that I could be content with all the time. This is probably why I think Mason's such a good porn star, actually.

On the other hand, I'm a big proponent of at least the idea of versatility.

I'm going through a high sex drive phase though (which is interacting oddly with the poor body image). So great, whatever.

Anyway, that's too much information. But I should be going. I'll continue with a more detailed investigation of my kinks some other time, and that will be way, way too much information.

Have a good night.

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