Places

So, I had my doctor's appointment today. Things are looking good, so they've moved me off of the Miami-J neck brace and have put me in a soft collar. That means that after six months I am now officially allowed to turn my head from side to side.

At the doctor's office, I took off my brace as soon as the doctor was out of the room. I sat for a moment, and then I put the brace back on.

My mother was sitting there, looking at me, and she asked "Why did you put the brace back on?"

"I just feel really strange without it on."

And it does feel really strange. I'm still terrified of looking around, and I notice that I still refuse to try to look down at my feet when I'm walking or stepping over something. It's going to be an adjustment.

This also means that I can drive again, and that raises a whole host of other questions in my mind. I freak out at the smallest thing when I'm driving with my mom or dad, so what am I going to be like on the road? I figure that I'll slowly try to get back into it over the next week or so.

Also, I just received an email from my brother, and like usual, it was unbelievably hilarious. I wish he would post them online or allow me to post them. I'll bug him about that.

At the moment though, I should just mention that they're dealing with the infestation of penguins one step at a time, and that he's not happy that the lifeguard (an independent contractor) makes nearly three times what he makes.

You don't normally think of "lifeguard" as one of those jobs involved with risking your life in Iraq.

Besides, I want to be a lifeguard at a pool in Iraq. All those hot, horny marines in their swim trunks. Jesus, I'd take a third of what the current lifeguard makes.

Finally, I just want to say: I am an American.

What I mean by that is, I read my news through Fark and that means that I read articles from all over the world. As an American, I have the geographical knowledge of a primary school Briton or less.

So, if you publish a newspaper online: Please, please, please put your location somewhere on every page. And by location I mean city, state or province, and country. If you keep saying "Clark County officials" or "Dummas Township Sheriff" I don't have the faintest clue of where the events located in the article happened.

For example, there are at least eight Clark Counties (a google search reveals AR, IL, IN, KS, OH, NV, WA, and WI on the first two pages of results). There are also a few Springfields, Portlands, and Washingtons. If you really want to be boggled, see here and here. People don't seem to be very creative with place names.

So help us out. City, state, and country. That's all I'm asking for.