A (Long) Fun Questionnaire

This is how bored I am today, I'm taking multiple online questionnaires and editing them together. Sources: (One, Two, Three)

Where do you live? Currently I live in Santa Fe, NM.

What color is your hair? Coppery brown.

What color are your eyes? They change. Seriously. They're usually blue or green, but I've seen them gray and light brown too.

How tall are you? 5'11" or 1.8 meters.

What's your sign? Taurus.

Do you have any siblings? Yes, Pocket Lint, who is a U.S. Marine Reservist.

Do you have any pets? We have two dogs, Rosie the bimbo and Luther the warrior.

Do you have any phobias? I'm not a big fan of insects.

What makes you happy? Praise, sex, interesting conversation, and beautiful things.

What really irritates you? Incompetence.

What makes you sad? Those commercials about almost helping people, homeless people, loosing old friends.

What makes you angry? People that don't care about doing a good job, people that that are self-absorbed to the point of injury to others, and people that run red lights.

Who is your best friend? At the moment, it's Jeff.

Ever broken a bone? Yes. I had a double fracture of my C-2 Vertebrae when I was 24.

What's the best advice you've ever received? Every character that you write about should want something, even if it's just a glass of water. - Vonnegut

What's the best thing you've ever bought? My current laptop.

What's the worst thing you've ever bought? The laptop just before that one.

What's the best thing you've ever been given? Books.

What's the worst thing you've ever been given? Something given thoughtlessly, probably. Perhaps the Starbucks gift card I got for Christmas from the Marriott when I worked there, as I don't drink coffee.

What are your future goals? I'd like to have a book published.

Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world? Angelina Jolie.

Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world? Brad Pitt. I know, its cliche to have them together, but they are an amazingly cute couple.

What is your favorite thing to do on a hot summer day? Lay on the beach with a good book, non-runny sunscreen, and a cold drink.

What is your favorite thing to do on a snowy winter day? Sit inside watching the snow next to a roaring fire with Swiss Miss apple cider mix.

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be? Hmmm . . . First I'd wish for the intent of my wishes to be fulfilled without any unanticipated twists or catches. Secondly I'd wish for the ability to alter and change reality (and if necessary change it back to the way it was). Then I'd probably save the last wish for an emergency.

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do? Those are two different things. If I could go back in time to see something, I would visit Jerusalem in the late twenties and early thirties, A.D. If I could go back and change something, I would probably go back and inform the Native Americans what was about to happen to them when the Europeans arrived in the Americas.

Do you believe in the after-life? No.

Do you believe in God? Not in the way that he is commonly personified and characterized by the majority of Christians (as I understand them). If you dilute the term to mean "the naturalistic universe" then I do believe in that, but I don't believe that it's cognizant and aware of us, nor that something metaphysical necessarily exists beyond it other than Branes or some other metanaturalistic system.

Do you believe in ghosts and magic? No, but I don't deny that there can be things in this universe beyond my understanding.

What was your last job? Night Auditor for a Marriott hotel.

What is your current job? Reservations for a local hotel.

What is your dream job? Writing full time, but until that happens, probably managing my own hotel.

What book are you currently reading? Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson.

What do you think about it? It's really good. I regret not having picked it up earlier.

What is your favorite book? I dunno. Issola by Steven Brust, The Riven Shield by Michelle West, or The Return of Endymion by Dan Simmons are all at the top of the list.

What is your favorite magazine? XY.

Never heard of it. What is it about? It's a gay (male) youth magazine. I don't read it any more, but it was good with glossy pictures of hot guys and interesting articles that made me feel a little more connected with the larger gay community.

What is last movie that you saw? I am Legend.

What did you think of it? It was okay. I saw it on my list of the 50 most important science fiction/fantasy novels of the last 50 years, and so I'll probably get around to reading it eventually.

What is your favorite movie? Contact.

Really? Yes, really.

You didn't think that was sort of a boring movie? Boring? It was a fantastic movie with real drama and meaningful tension. I don't think it was boring at all.

What is your favorite band/singer? I'm a fan of Linkin Park. The last CD I bought was "Minutes to Midnight" by them.

Now you're just joking with me, aren't you? No. I like their music. It's modern with a strong drum line, it pushes through a lot of power and feeling without resorting to screaming, and they manage to harmonize subtly and interestingly.

Only angsty teenagers listen to them. Are you an angsty teenager? No, but I listen to them, which proves that not only angsty teenagers listen to them. Although I guess you could consider me an angsty twenty-something.

Well, whatever. What's your favorite song? It's still Dreaming by BT.

Jesus, you have really horrible taste in music, you know that? Okay, what's wrong with Dreaming by BT?

It's only the gayest music ever produced. Are you a big fan of electronica? Not really, but I like his music and a few other things. I like the ethereal nature of the high female voices in music like that. I'm not much of a club person though, so I tend away from the really deep thumping base lines.

Enough music questions. I don't want to know any more. What is your favorite food? Sushi.

What? Don't you know that it's got tons of Mercury in it? I only eat it once or twice a week, and more of it is probably from California than from New York.

Still, that could be really bad for you, don't you think? Eh. I drink milk, I eat the occasional burger and I like chili and soda. It can't be worse for me than that stuff.

What's your favorite television show? What kind of question is that?

Pardon? I'm posting this on my blog, and I was trying to give an accurate impression of what I'm like without exactly broadcasting my faults to the world.

You think that telling people about your favorite television show is a fault? Well, I've already admitted that I watch some bad television a few posts back, and I am sometimes embarrassed by how much I watch. Since I'm the one writing this, I figured that I could skip that question without anyone noticing.

Just answer the question, what's your favorite show? Well, House, at the moment.

That wasn't so hard, was it? I guess not.

Who's the cutest actor in it? How is that relevant?

Again, just answer the question. Do you need me to repeat it? No. Well, the thing is, there's really not really anyone that I really go for. The closest is Dr. Chase, and even with him, the fact that he's sort of religious is sort of a turn off. Personality wise, I have to say that I like Dr. Cameron, except there's that major drawback of her being a woman and all. Then, of course, there's Hugh Laurie, who's an asshole but somehow still manages to be loyal, funny, and disturbingly attractive.

You thought about that answer, didn't you? Well yeah, isn't that the point?

I get the feeling that you're fishing for something else though, huh? Er. . . I was sort of thinking about how I could segue from that into cute porn stars.

Something else on your mind? I am a guy, after all, and I suspect that's on a lot of guys minds most of the time.

Aren't you 25 years old or something? Shouldn't you be over that by now? Well, yeah, I'm twenty five, but I sort of missed out of my peak sexuality. I really wouldn't mind trying to catch up.

So, did you come up with a way to "segue into cute porn stars?" This is a questionnaire. I figured I could just ask myself straight off "Who are your favorite porn stars?"

Works for me. Who are your favorite porn stars? Jeremy Penn's still at the top of the list, of course, although he hasn't been on the scene for a few years and his early stuff is still the best. Mason Wyler's still hot, although I could live without having seen previews of his golden shower scenes. Fredrik Eklund, or Tag Eriksson, or however you spell that is still one of my heroes for being both a porn star and a successful human being. Erik Rhodes for kissing Kathy Griffin at the GayVN awards. . . .

Nearly done? . . . and pretty much all of the Corbin Fisher guys for just being cute and straight acting.

Well, that's not excessive. Anyone you're missing? Tommy D, for apparently being bisexual or possibly just straight but still having sex with guys.

Jesus. More than I needed to know. Ready to move on? Yeah, I guess. I just sort of realized that we sort of left the real questions back in the dust a while ago, didn't I?

You got that right. We're deep into Dave Eggers territory now. Have you ever fired a gun? Geez, another odd question. Where did that one come from?

The third reference from up at the top of this post. Have you ever fired a gun? Nope, although I've wanted to become a cop for a while.

A cop? Yeah. Is that so hard to believe?

You do know that you're really gay, right? Don't you think that might be an issue? Not really. There are gay cops out there. Besides, I'm not that gay.

How many out of shape gay cops with broken necks and crazy dreams to write science fiction do you think are out there? Well, maybe I'll be the first.

Why do you want to be a cop anyway? For the same reason that I wanted to become an Administrator on IIDB; I was hoping to make things better for other people.

That sounds like the most trite answer that I've ever heard. It's really about the power, isn't it? Not in the way that you're suggesting. You'll notice that I gave up power pretty quick on the message board trying to do the right thing. Same thing with being a police officer. With power comes responsibility and all of that.

Two questions: One, do you realize that you just quoted a superhero movie to justify your moral stance? Two, you didn't really give up power at the message board, did you? To your first question, yes, I realize that. I'm not exactly proud of it, but my morality is mostly from books anyway. Just because it's in a movie that doesn't make it pointless. To your second question, yeah, I was kicked out, but it's not like I didn't realize that could be an outcome when I went down that path before I started. Mike was crazy, and crazy people do unexpected things some times.

Don't you think you did anything wrong during that whole situation? I've certainly said I did, especially about being confrontational with Maverick and Mike in the ACR, but right now as I think about it, I just sort of justified it to myself. After all, one of the things that I think is most important in leadership is the ability to take verbal abuse and shrug it off. Even if I was rude and confrontational in the ACR, I don't necessarily think that should have resulted in my disqualification. That Mike and Maverick couldn't deal with it speaks more about them than about me.

So, you do think you did wrong, but you're still trying to abrogate responsibility? I suppose it sounds like that. I take it back then. I did make mistakes.

Why not go back and delete what you wrote in the question before the previous one then? I'm not sorry enough to go do that.

So, why do you think that you'd make a good cop? I don't think that I'd be a good cop, I'd probably be an average cop, but I am really honest. I'd have exceedingly large problems with other cops taking privileges, and maybe I could make the lives of some people better by preventing them from running wild.

You realize that if you ever post this, no police academy in the country is going to let you through the doors? I've already been told that they won't let me in because I'm too smart. See, I'm too honest for my own good.

Uhg. You're sort of a romantic of sorts, aren't you? I suppose I am, about honesty, anyway. I've seen honesty destroy people's careers but I still have this sort of faith that honesty is still the right thing to do most of the time.

If you become a cop, how long do you think that will last? Hopefully longer than my tenure as an Administrator at IIDB did.

Who would you like to see right now? I'm torn. I'd like to kick back with J., the guy I had a crush on in college, as much as it pains me. At the moment, if I could wish it into existence I'd probably choose Mike, who I'm still worried about.

Why are you worried about him? He hasn't been returning my calls or emails. It's been months since anyone I know has heard from him or seen him. His ex suggested that perhaps he's on a long trip with his father, but I worry.

Doesn't he live in the same town that you do? Outside of town, yeah. I'm sort of scared of his house though. I've never successfully navigated my way out there before. I'd really like Jeff to drive me, but they're not on speaking terms still.

If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? London, probably. I need to go to a place where I can kick my reputation out the window and have some fun.

What do you mean by "fun?" Have sex and write.

Well, that was blunt enough. Why can't you have sex where you are, and why can't you write? I don't know about the sex thing. I need to get out of my Mom's house primarily, and I need to get away from my past. Also, I need to get away from my solitary comfort zone in order to write. Either I have to have friends urging me on or I need to get away from a place where I'm comfortable relaxing in front of a television.

There's your television thing coming through again. Well, why don't you just turn off the television? I can't get up the will power. Internal motivation is something that I lack.

That's an interesting problem. Could you describe it a little better? I have this issue with internal drive. I typically just drift through life in a sort of fugue state of motivation. Other people ask me things, and I can derive motivation from their actions either to do them or to refuse them, but I have a lot of trouble using my internal motivation to create active willpower.

That sounds like it could be a hindrance to having sex. Is it? Yeah. I can't work out for myself, even though I'd love to be in shape. I have trouble approaching the guys that are attractive, too.

So, what do you do? I don't get laid, mostly.

I meant about the lack of motivation. Is it a depression thing? Not really. Don't get me wrong, I've been depressed for most of my life, but even during the good periods I have trouble with motivation. Sort of like extreme manic depression without the manic phases.

Any other fun psychological issues? Yeah, actually, I have a strange sort of mild synethsia that makes certain fabrics and textures uncomfortable sometimes to the point of pain. I don't touch corduroy, velvet, or crushed velvet. I usually deal with it by rolling up my sleeves before trying to touch it.

You're serious about that? I really, truly am. I've been known to exaggerate it, but it's really an issue for me. It drives me nuts and sends these bizarre shivers up and down my nerves.

Do you have any piercings? Nope. Not planning on getting any, either.

What about tattoos? I like tattoos, but I'm not planning on any of those either. I'd love to get one of my own designs as a sleeve or on my back, but I also think that I'm way to fat to get a tattoo.

You think only thin people can get tattoos? Well, no, but I only like the way they look on people that are in shape, so I don't think I'd get one unless I got into amazing shape.

Are you a giver or a taker? Uh . . . that's sort of an uncomfortable question.

I just took it from the list again. I didn't mean it in a gay way. I'm sure you don't have much of an issue with telling us even if I'd intended it in a gay way anyway, do you? I suppose not. Alright, In a non-gay way, I'm probably more of a taker than a giver. I have a reactive personality, not a proactive personality. In a gay way, I'm more of a pitcher, but I can play both sides of the field.

You do realize that most gay guys say that but really aren't, right? Someone recently said that there was a definite lack of tops in major gay cities like NYC, San Fran, and Miami. I really do go both ways, but then I'm not the most experienced person in the world.

Alright, I'll take your word for it. What are three things that you can't live without? My computer, books, and . . . uh, food and air.

That was sort of a sarcastic answer. Were you going to say something else? No, I just couldn't think of anything.

Here's a question for you. Why did you stop writing this quiz for a week and then pick up again? I don't know. Boredom, maybe?

I bore you? Well, originally I had to leave work. The reason that I didn't start writing again is because of the whole boredom/lack of motivation thing. Are you bored?

I am you, remember? Yeah, well, you don't seem to know the answers to any of these questions, do you?

I'm asking for posterity. What did you want to be when you were a kid? I remember that I wanted to be an architect at one time, and I've always sort of wanted to be a general commentator on television, a talking head, sort of. I've always wanted to be a god, also.

I thought you didn't believe in God? I don't, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't want the position if it was available. Also, note the use of a small g. I don't know if I would want to be God, only a god.

Let's narrow it down a little bit. What super power would you like to have? Illusion, just like that girl on Heroes had.

Why do you want that? I think it's the most useful power to have. Jeff knows why.

Well, is there anything else that you want to be asked? Not that I can think of.

Alright. Well, if you think of anything, let me/yourself know? I will. I promise.